Hard

Consider yourself forewarned: This is going to be a whiny, bitchy post.  Feel free to stop reading!

I dropped Armydad off yesterday.  We drove the 5 hours over on Sunday.  We stayed in a hotel Sunday night, ate out, lounged around, spent our last little time together as a family.  (Yes, the boys were with us.)  We dropped him off at about 5:30pm on Monday and then headed home.  The boys and I got home at about 11.  I am exhasuted.  I am overly emotional.  And, I just found out I have strep throat.

Right now I am wondering if I can do this.  If I can survive 7 weeks without seeing him?  And then another 13 after that?  And then possibly more (depending how long his branch training is.)  And then, eventually he will deploy.  If I cannot handle 7 weeks, how will I ever handle a year?

I know I am overly tired.  And I am raw because we just said good-bye yesterday.  And I feel like crap because I have strep.  I am hoping once I get some sleep, the meds start to work, and I have a few days to adjust, I will feel better.  I did so good last time.  But, I knew it was only 3 1/2 weeks and I was so focused on Thing1 and his medical stuff.  Plus we left for my mom’s house the day after Armydad left last time.  This time, I feel like I have nothing to look forward to.  We are going to my mom’s house in 3 weeks, but that is so far away.  I cannot get together with any friends because I am sick.  I am just feeling alone and lonely right now.

And, I feel like a whiny baby…  We chose this life, together.  What right do I have to wallow and whine when I made this choice?

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