Be Still My Heart

But, please, PLEASE for the love of God, don’t let Thing 1’s be still!

Today we have an appointment with the cardiologist for Thing 1.  I used to be slightly nervous, but not think too much of it.  Now, I am a nervous wreck.  I know one of these appointments we are going to be told to get our rears to a pediatric heart hospital.  I am dreading that day.  I am also praying for that day.  I am praying that we find out it is time for a transplant at a regular appointment instead of when Thing 1 collapses or ends up in the hospital.

I hate this life for him.  I told him last night that he had an appointment.  He told me about the lotion they will use and the movie he will watch during the Echo.  He mentioned the stethoscope that will be used to listen to his heart.  He went to Sunday evening church.  The first thing he said after: “I told Miss P that I have to go to the doctor tomorrow and get lotion on me.”  I hate that this is so normal for him.  I hate that he knew heart as a body part before he knew arm.

In church yesterday, they handed out paper leaves and asked us to write one thing we are thankful for on it.  Want to know what I wrote?  I am thankful my son is not on the transplant list yet.  Who says that?  Apparently, I do…


2 thoughts on “Be Still My Heart

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