We are now under a month until Armydad leaves.  I am ready to take this next step and get this first separation behind us.  I think this will be the hardest one.  Once I survive this one, I will feel more able to survive the next time.  Plus I won’t have the added stress of worrying about his safety.  (Although I am sure I will worry about him getting injured, but no worries about bombs or guns!)  Yet at the same time, I am no where near ready.  Seriously, I think I can do this?  I think I can be a full time single, stay at home mom to a 2 and 4 year old with special needs?  With no break?  Ever?  I don’t use sitters.  I have trouble trusting anyone else with them.  I have no family in the area.  I am terrified.  I am sure I will be fine.  I have always been fine in the past.  I will this time, again.  A part of me hopes this time flies by so we can get this over with.  Another part hopes it crawls by, so I can enjoy this time…


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