Getting Real…

It is getting real now.  I am realizing that my husband is leaving for several months.  We have about 2 1/2 months until he leaves.  He is taking 2 weeks vacation (separately) between now and then.  He has been off this whole weekend!  (That NEVER happens.  We don’t get 3 days together unless he is on vacation.)  All weekend it has been right in the front of my mind that we probably won’t have another weekend like this.  We will travel some on both of his vacation weeks.  We most likely will not have another long weekend spent together as a family before he leaves.  It scares the pants off me.  I thought I was fine with this.  I thought I would be golden.  I spend so much time home alone with the kids anyway.  But, I am getting scared.  I am worried I am going to lose my mind because I am going to go for days at a time without any adult conversation.  I am worried about how the boys are going to handle this.  Worried I will have weeks on end with tantrums, bad sleep, and horrible behaviors.  And my husband’s schedule sucks.  You see, he should get Christmas Exodus right in the middle of boot camp.  So he will be gone for about a month and then get 2 weeks at home.  That sucks!  The boys will have just adjusted to him being gone and he will be home for a couple weeks.  Then I will have to start over with them.  (Plus he is worried that not all of the recruits will not stick with the training and exercise and the whole group will pay for it when they get back…)  It really is crummy timing.  Although I know that I will be so glad and overjoyed to see him.  I will be missing him so much by that point.

I have been grouchy all weekend and Armydad keeps asking me why.  I haven’t told him, but it is because this is really hitting me.  This is really happening.  Time is moving way too fast.  Yet, not fast enough because I just want to get this show on the road already…


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